Tuesday, October 22, 2013

13 Days of Halloween: Aliens

From Barb:

How to be kidnapped/seduced by an Alien.

 I am not alone in wondering what it would be like to be kidnapped by space aliens. After reading the Moonbeam series by Cynthia Sax and the Dreamland series by Cheryl Dragon I just know I have the perfect way to draw the attention of a hot alien or two or three.

From what I have read the aliens need women to procreate and of course they are hot as hell and know that their mate is the one they will do anything to convince them that they were meant to be in a galaxy in a far far away.
First thing you need to do is hang around areas that are known for alien sightings. Of course Area 51 is a biggie but thanks to Cynthia I know of a little known place in Canada just north of Lake Superior that is known as Canada's Roswell/Area 51.  Why go to the obvious more touristy attraction in New Mexico?  Less competition in Canada .  So I need to pack enough stuff to keep warm and get a cabin and walk around and check out the crop circles and other signs of alien life. 

In Cyn's Moonbeam series the heroes are looking for a mate and I know fom the description they may look like us but that is the outer shell.  So of course you have to be prepared to be 
In Cheryl Dragon's series I of course would sacrifice myself for the good of mankind to be with three or more of the aliens. I know they like to share.  I just need to "stumble" into a secret military base and bump into them. oops
But there is also another food for thought in Hazel Gower's alien series the aliens have two penises rather then one.  They too are looking for women. So you get the benefit of a menage but with only one. 
What is even better, these aliens love women with curves. They are not looking for skinny little women who weigh nothing. 
So while many of you are planning your vacations in warm sunny places like Hawaii, or Florida I am packing and going alien shopping.  Now where is my suitcase?

From Sheri:

How to survive an alien invasion…..
Basically you sit back and wait and either hope they just take over or you kiss your butt goodbye. When it comes down to it aliens are gonna kick our butts.  They have better and more sophisticated technology then we do.  Unless the government has learned a few tricks over at Area 51 that they can unleash to save mankind, we are screwed.
We can only hope that these highly intelligent creatures will have traveled here to our universe because their population or planet is dying and they want to breed with us and keep us in the lap of luxury…we can hope right.  Who knows we might get lucky and find some pretty hot aliens maybe they will have extra appendages ….  All hope is not lost….yet.
So to sum it up our choices are:
                Kiss your ass goodbye
                Become a worker in the new colony

                Be a sex servant to a multiple appendages alien

From Jenn

If you one of those strange people who want to be abducted by aliens... We have compiled a list of signs to look for. Hopefully they can help you determine if you were...... ABDUCTED......

1) Have had unexplainable missing or lost time of one hour or more.
2) Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.
3) Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them (small scoop indentation, straight line scar, triangular marks, scars in roof of mouth, in nose, behind or in ears, etc.)
4)Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locations
5)Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream, or many dreams involving flying.
6)Have a strong "marker memory" that will not go away (i.e.: an alien face, an examination, a needle, a table, a strange skinny baby, etc.)
7)Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window.
8)Have had many dreams of UFOs, beams of light, or alien beings.
9)Have had a shocking UFO sighting or multiple sightings in your life.
10) Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious.
11) Have a strong sense of having a mission or important task to perform, sometime, without knowing where this compulsion is coming from.
12) Have a secret feeling that you are "special" or "chosen," somehow.
13) Have had unexplainable events occur in your life, and felt strangely anxious afterwards.
14) Have had several strange psychic experiences - such as knowing that something is going to happen before it happens.
15) For women only: Have had false pregnancy or missing fetus. (pregnant, and then not)
16) Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don't remember ever going to sleep. (i.e. waking up with your head at the foot of your bed, or in your car)
17) Have had a dream of eyes such as animal eyes (like an owl or deer), or remember seeing an animal looking in at you. Also if you have a fear of eyes.
18) Have awoken in the middle of the night startled.
19) Have strong reaction to cover of Communion or pictures of aliens. Either an aversion to or being drawn to.
20) Have inexplicably strong fears or phobias. (i.e. heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds, bright lights, your personal security or being alone).
21) Have experienced self-esteem problem much of your life.
22) Have seen someone with you become paralyzed, motionless, or frozen in time, especially someone you sleep with.
23) Have a memory of having a special place with spiritual significance, when you were a youngster.
24) Have had someone in your life who claims to have witnessed a ship or alien near you or has witnessed you having been missing.
25) Have had, at any time, blood or strangel stain on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there.
26) Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot.
27) Have an extreme aversion towards the subject of UFO's or aliens - don't want to talk about it.
28) Have been suddenly compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area.
29) Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night.
30) Have had dreams of passing through a closed window or solid wall.
31) Have seen a strange fog or haze that should not be there.
32) Have heard strange humming or pulsing sounds, and you could not identify the source.
33) Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed.
34) Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained.
35) Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body.
36) Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems.
37)Have had electronics around you go haywire or oddly malfunction with no explanation (such as street lights going out as you walk under them, TV's and radios affected as you move close, etc.).
38) Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed.
39) Have had frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears, especially in one ear.
40) Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment.
41) Have insomnia or sleep disorders which are puzzling to you.
42) Have had dreams of doctors or medical procedures.
43) Have frequent or sporadic headaches, especially in the sinus, behind one eye, or in one ear.
44) Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.
45) Have had paranormal or psychic experiences, including intuition.
46) Have been prone to compulsive or addictive behavior.
47) Have channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials.
48) Have simply heard an external voice in your head, speaking to you, perhaps instructing or guiding you.
49) Have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child.
50) Have had sexual or relationship problems (such as an odd "feeling" that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with "something.")
51) Have to sleep against the wall or must sleep with your bed against a wall.
52) Have a fear that you must be very vigilant or you will be taken away by "someone."
53) Have a difficult time trusting other people, especially authority figures.
54) Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe.
55) Have the feeling that you are not supposed to talk about these things, or that you should not talk about them.
56) Have experienced many things in this list, and recall your children or parents speaking of similar experiences on occasion.
57) Have tried to resolve these types of problems with little or no success.
58) Have many of these traits but can't remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter.

If you answered yes to at least half, then you need to seek help...........You may have been ABDUCTED...
For my book recommendation: The Eslites by CM Doporto

 Sixteen year old, Miranda Mays, discovers she is a superior donor for the alien race known as the Eslites, who have come to earth demanding humans help save their race from extinction. Will she be the one to help them or will their quest continue?


All right, so I will be the first to admit that I am a major geek. Yes, I said it. I believe in ghosts, monsters and even Aliens. Well, not necessarily believe in them so much as I like to keep an open mind. And I am not alone in this. Otherwise how would you explain television shows such as Inside Area 51, Chasing UFOs and Ancient Aliens with their millions of weekly viewers? They look upon aliens not as little green people that come to our planet on missions of abduction and probing. But as ancient astronauts here on missions of exploration and apparently seeding our history. 

I will admit to being one of those millions of viewers. Every week I sit there, in front of the TV, drink in hand watching as everything from the Nazca Lines to Angels are somehow linked to aliens. Now, I’m not saying that you need to drink while watching Ancient Aliens, but I can guarantee, after the second glass, it all surprisingly enough starts making sense to you too. Even as I type this, Ancient Aliens is playing in the background. Somehow Biblical floods were also started and linked to ancient aliens. And here I always thought it had something to do with God, lots of rain and a man named Noah. Well, shoot, you learn something new every day. Every week “experts” gather and give us their professional opinions about aliens and how their influence centuries ago have influenced our daily lives.

I don’t know, maybe it’s the alcohol talking at that point. But after a couple of drinks you start thinking like the “Ancient Astronaut theorists” and start playing connect the dots with history. Don’t believe me? Let’s play the alien version of six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Here’s my challenge to you… check your tv listings, check Netflix (yes, it’s on there too), grab yourself a drink or two and sit back. Watch a couple episodes of Ancient Aliens and then tell me it doesn’t start to make sense after a while. You tell me. How many connections can you make between ancient aliens and points in our history? Do you believe now? 


  1. Replies
    1. I try to take a lighthearted approach to aliens and alien abduction. But if you've watched the show, especially after having a couple of drunks you start noticing connections. Such as, it always leads back to the the Mayans! Those darned Mayans started it all. lol

  2. Jen forgot about feeling a slight burning sensation in the anal cavity. ..and feelings of being probed :P

  3. Sheri I'll take option 3 if he's hot.

    1. I know you will. If you didn't I would probably have a heart attack

  4. Barbie some other good Alien books: Eve Langlais Alien Abduction series. They are hot as hell! As well as the Brides of the Kindred by Evangeline Anderson

  5. Yes, Moonbeam in Northern Ontario is the Roswell of the North. There are o-rings which are like crop circles except in the forest. There are unexplained lights. And their landmark is a giant silver UFO. I've seen both the o-rings and the unexplained lights myself and I'm a believer! I know there's intelligent life on other planets. Space is too large for that not to be.

  6. Ok...not that I would be traveling there...but I DEFINITELY won't be in that part of Canada...